Rol van die eie ouer in die hersaamgestelde gesin

Abstract

Die hersaamgestelde gesin word in hierdie navorsingstudie ondersoek as in komplekse alternatiewe gesinstruktuur met eiesoortige strukturele kenmerke, probleemareas en rituele wat nie aan die norm van die kerngesin ontleen kan word nie. In die literatuuroorsig word hierdie aspekte van nader beskou en tot die gevolgtrekking gekom dot die belangrike rol van die eie ouer in die hersaamgestelde gesin grootliks misgekyk word. Die verbondenheid van die eie ouer aan beide die ouer-kind- en die nuwe egpaarsisteme maak dit vir hom/haar moontlik om 'n sleutelrol te vervul tydens gesinsinteraksies, eenheidsvorming en die opvoedingsgebeure in die hersaamgestelde gesin. Dit is moontlik vir die eie ouer om vanuit in unieke posisie as 'n buffer te dien in die problematiese stiefouer-stiefkindverhoudinge. Hierdie moontlikheid bestaan egter slegs indien die eie ouer oor voldoende kennis, insig en vaardighede beskik. 'n Uitgebreide kwalitatiewe ondersoek aan die hand van semi-gestruktureerde onderhoude met die lede van ses hersaamgestelde gesinne het die volgende tendense aan die lig gebring Eie ouers verwag van nuwe egliede om kinders in die hersaamgestelde gesin uit die staanspoor te aanvaar en lief te he. Eie ouers koester konflikterende gevoelens ten opsigte van die dissiplinering van hul kinders deur die stiefouer. Eie ouers, stiefouers en kinders in hersaamgestelde gesinne gaan dikwels gebuk onder die las van onverwerkte gevoelens van verdriet en verlies. Die hantering van finansies ten opsigte van inwonende eie en stiefkinders, asook nie-inwonende kinders en vorige egliede skep spanning en bemoeilik goeie verhoudinge. Eie ouers is dikwels so verdeeld tussen die belange van hul kinders en die van hul nuwe maats dat hulle dit moeilik vind om in 'n tweede huwelik 'n betekenisvolle verhouding met hul nuwe lewensmaat op te bou. Genoemde tendense het 'n bepalende rol gespeel in die ontwikkeling van 'n begeleidingsprogram vir eie ouers. Agt sessies met doelwitte gebaseer op hierdie probleemareas is gestruktureer om die eie ouer met noodsaaklike kennis en vaardighede toe te rus ten opsigte van harmoniese verhoudingstigting en -onderhouding in hersaamgestelde gesinne. Die begeleidingsprogram is deur middel van 'n fokusgroeponderhoud aan die evaluering van vier ouerpare in hersaamgestelde gesinne onderwerp en is aan die hand van hul aanbevelings verfyn en gefinaliseer.

In this research study the reconstituted family is investigated as a complex alternative family structure with distinctive structural characteristics, problem areas and rituals which cannot be adopted from the norm of the nuclear family. In the literature survey these aspects are examined closely and the conclusion is drawn that the important role of the biological parent in the reconstituted family is ignored to a large extent. The biological parent's commitment to both the parent-child and new couple systems allows him/her to play a key role in family interactions, unit formation and educational events in the reconstituted family. It is possible for the biological parent to act as a buffer in the problematic stepparent-stepchild relationships from a unique perspective. However, this possibility only exists if the biological parent possesses sufficient knowledge, insight and skills. An extensive qualitative investigation on the basis of semi-structured interviews with members of six reconstituted families revealed the following tendencies: Biological parents expect their new spouses to accept and love children in the reconstituted family from the onset. Biological parents harbour conflicting feelings regarding the disciplining of children by the stepparent. Biological parents, stepparents and children in reconstituted families often still carry the burden of unresolved feelings of sadness and loss. The handling of finances with regard to resident own and stepchildren, as well as non-resident children and former spouses creates tension and compromises good relationships. Biological parents are often so divided between the interests of their own children and those of their new spouses that they find it difficult to build a meaningful relationship with their new spouse in a second marriage. The tendencies mentioned played a decisive role in the development of a guidance programme for biological parents. Eight sessions with aims based on these problem areas were structured to equip biological parents with the necessary knowledge and skills in respect of the development and maintenance of harmonious relationships in reconstituted families. The guidance programme was subjected to the evaluation of four sets of parents in reconstituted families by means of a focus group interview and was refined and finalised on the basis of their recommendations.