Black mothers' journeys : coming out about their offspring's sexual orientation

Abstract

Research to date in South Africa has explored the coming out narratives of lesbian and gay people. Most of this research suggests these people experience their parents’ reactions as largely negative. This negativity is attributed to the patriarchal culture and religious beliefs which insist on compulsory heterosexuality that dominate African discourse in South Africa. However, thus far, little work has been done focusing specifically on the perceptions of the parents of lesbian, gay or bisexual offspring, and on the parents’ own coming out about their children’s alternative sexual orientation. In this qualitative study, I explored the lived experiences of black mothers of lesbian, gay or bisexual children from diverse backgrounds with the aim of capturing their own voices and gaining an understanding of their journeys, from the moment that each discovered that her child belongs to a sexual minority to her acceptance of the child’s alternative sexuality. I conducted semi-structured interviews with six black South African mothers of lesbian, gay or bisexual offspring in order to learn about these mothers’ experiences. I analysed the interview transcripts using Interpretive Phenomenological Analysis. I identified three main themes, namely the mothers’ journeys; responses to the study’s research questions, and other concerns the black mothers still have regarding their lesbian, gay or bisexual offspring. Each main theme was comprised of several sub-themes. In a nutshell, the study shows that in contrast to the assumption that South African black urban communities are hostile spaces with no visible familial support for lesbian, gay or bisexual youth, in reality, there are examples in urban African communities of parental support for members of sexual minorities. Although all the mothers in this study held Christian beliefs, none subscribed to a ‘same-sex attraction is a sin’ discourse. Instead, most of these mothers regarded their children as special gifts from God, and some saw their children’s alternative sexuality as God’s way of teaching them as mothers about unconditional love.