Amarhoqololo kaKim

Abstract

This Series is composed of eight panels of printed tapestries/textiles and further reinterpretation of two of the panels’ subject matter reproducing images that encapsulate the theme of this series, which is self-forgiveness. It started as a conscious retrospective reflection of my earlier works some of which were representing painful events, I had experience. The series was inspired by my daughter Kimberly Bediako, hence the title Amarhoqololo kaKimn (Kim’s scribbles). The first one in this series Irhoqololo likaKim 1, meaning Kim’s scribble 1, is derived from a work entitled “Please help 1988” which was commenting on domestic abuse now referred to as Gender Based Violence (GBV). Kim used textile design techniques to reinterpret this work expanding its meaning to the current state of GBV where women are encouraged to report violence they experience and speak out without fears of being stigmatized, as was the case in the past. I applied this recreation process to a selection of my earlier works some which expressed issues I wanted closure with. The eight panels were deliberately presented like flags symbolising celebration and denoting acceptance, and self-reconciliation. Self-forgiveness enabled me to accept my “responsibility and pain in processing the emotions of remorse” associated with the painful events expressed in these works (Enright 1996). Additionally, self-forgiveness facilitated Alexander Pope’s (1711) famous quote “To err is Human; to Forgive is divine” towards personal transcendence (http://eserver.org/poetry/essay-on-criticism.html)). These earlier works expressed my lived experiences and some societal aspects I observed as social commentary. While expressing these experiences at the time seemed enough and fulfilling however it became apparent that there were issues that I needed to put behind. I wanted to shed the baggage I had carried for years and forgive myself where necessary, or move on, without fear of failure or regret for things I could not change. The series challenge the viewer to see beyond superficial representation of subject matter but to engage with the works at deeper level.

The recreation process involved re-evoking/reliving the historical authorship thus resisting my death as “the author” while consciously metamorphosising these works into massive and intricate new formations (Roland Barthes 1968). Thus, I became an author (creator) and a reader (critique/interpreter) simultaneously towards original authenticity.

The two reinterpreted works GBV 2021 and Lala ngoxolo Nomontoza 2021 represent the main epitome of forgiveness and acceptance. They were created by combining performative acts of remorse, pain, and acceptance while evoking suppressed emotions towards self-veneration and healing. “Part of the healing offered through self-forgiveness involves an acceptance of who one is despite perceived shortcomings” (John Beiter 2007). These works also sought to evoke suppressed emotions metaphorically reliving the pain or uncovering an unhealed wound attending to it towards healing it permanently. Lala ngoxolo Nomontoza 2021 is derived from a work entitle “The Vigil 1988”, and it combines the original work transformed into a gigantic cross epitomising death with performance of remorse and grief. The cross and the crown of thorns reference the biblical event of the death of Jesus Christ as well as the belief that he died on the cross for our sins. Lala ngoxolo Nomontoza means rest in peace Nomontoza similarly to the phrased usually said to acknowledge death of a loved one. Nomontoza is a pseudo name I gave to the pregnancy I lost through a forced abortion. GBV and Lala ngoxolo Nomontoza were to release painful emotion towards healing. Uzo Uzo a Nigerian born Artist who lives in Houston, United States that I follow on Instagram asserts, “I create intense personal moments created by means of rules and omissions, acceptance and refusals, luring the viewer to look and see beyond the obvious”. Similarly, to Uzo Uzo when viewing Amarhoqololo kaKim Series the viewer is coerced to see beyond superficial representation of the subject matter. Thus, alternating creation and interpretation processes enhanced the final products as these processes complement each other responding to the theme what was being addressed in the ‘When Rain Clouds Gather”. It delt with the themes of political and social change, science versus traditional ways, tribalism, race, gender etcetera, which most of the themes in amaRhoqololo kaKim were portraying.