Affected by rape

Abstract

As the starting point for this thesis, I take my own experience of rape and how my social position as a ‘white’, middle class, womxn renders me out of place at a government rape clinic where the vast majority of patients are poor, ‘black’ womxn. The discomfort produced by being ‘out of place’ at the clinic prompted me to explore the ways in which sexual violence in South Africa has become normalised and the rapes of some womxn are considered ‘ordinary’. I situate my work in a context where sexual violence is hypervisible – reported in the media almost every day. However, I argue that, socially and politically, South African society is ‘unaffected’ by rape, which is repeatedly dismissed and denied as a serious social and political concern. By employing an interdisciplinary approach informed by critical feminist, decolonial and Africancentred perspectives, I locate this naffectedness in historical and contemporary matrixes of power. I argue that a state of unaffectedness is produced by intersecting raced, gendered and classed understandings of whose lives ‘matter’. Alongside an autoethnographic approach, through which I seek to critically situate and analyse my own experience of rape, I draw on indepth qualitative interviews with 16 other womxn – both ‘black’ and ‘white’– from across South Africa. I develop an affective analysis of participants’ narratives, focusing on how women’s feelings about their experiences of rape are structured by the broader social context of sexual violence. Working with notions of trauma, shame, rage, and unsettling hopefulness, I examine how the womxn I interviewed and I, both reproduce and contest dominant affective possibilities of rape. By engaging with the ways in which I am affected by doing research on rape, I propose an alternative way of ‘knowing about’ and writing about rape. This alternative way of knowing pays close attention to the intersecting inequalities that constitute both experiences of rape and research on sexual violence in South Africa. I argued that to engage with the way in which rape affects, individually and socially, is deeply ncomfortable, potentially hopeful, and crucial to disrupt the normalisation of sexual violence in South Africa.

Indawo endiqale kuyo kwesi sifundo sophando ngamava am okudlwengulwa, kunye ngendlela endibonwa ngayo phakathi koluntu ngenxa yokuba ndingumfazi ‘omhlophe’ okwizinga eliphakathi loluntu. Eli zinga lindikhuphela ngaphandle kwikliniki karhulumente, apho uninzi lwamaxhoba ingabafazi ‘abantsundu’ abahluphekileyo. Ukungonwabi okwenziwa kukuziva ‘ndingangeni ndawo’ ekliniki kundenze ukuba ndiphonononge indlela apho kusuke kwayinto eqhelekileyo ukuphathwa gadalala ngokwesondo eMzantsi Afrika, kwaye ukudlwengulwa kwamanye amabhinqa kwabonakala kuyinto ‘eqhelekileyo’. Uphando lwam ndilubeka kwimeko apho ubundlobongela besondo busematheni – kuthethwa ngabo yonke imihla kumajelo onxibelelwano. Noxa kunjalo, mna ndithi ngokwasentlalweni nangokwepolitiki, uluntu loMzantsi Afrika ‘aluvakalelwa’ kukudlwengula, nokusoloko kungahoywa, kwaye kungathathwa njengento uluntu olunokuzikhathaza ngayo. Ngokusebenzisa indlela yophando equka amasebe ezifundo ahlukeneyo, nephantsi kwefuthe lezifundo eziqwalasela imiba yamanina, nezingenabukoloniyali, nezizikithiswe kwizimvo zobuAfrika, ndikubeka oku kungakhathali kwiimeko zokungalingani kwamagunya mandulo nanamhla oku. Ndibeka uluvo oluthi ukungachukumiseki kudalwa kukucinga apho kujongwa ubuhlanga, isini nezinga lentlalo ukuze kuqondwe ukuba bobobani ubomi ‘obunolutho’. Ekusebenziseni indlela yophando eqala esiqwini somphandi, apho ndiphengulula nzulu awam amava okudlwengulwa, ndifumene ulwazi ngokuqhuba iindliwano ndlebe namanye amabhinqa ali-16 – ‘amhlophe’ kunye ‘nantsundu’ – aseMzantsi Afrika. Ndiphuhlisa uhlalutyo lwamabali abathathi nxaxheba, kwaye ndigxila kwiindlela apho iimvakalelo zamanina ngokudlwengulwa kwawo zakhiwe yimeko ebanzi yezentlalo kubundlobongela besondo. Ngokusebenza ngeengcinga zokuxheleka komphefumlo, iintloni, umsindo nokuphelelwa lithemba, ndiphonononga indlela athi amabhinqa endidlene nawo indlebe avelise kwaye aphikise iingcinga ezigqubayo malunga nodlwengulo. Ngokujongana nezam iingcinga nokuchaphazeleka kwam kukudlwengulwa, ndiphakamisa enye indlela eyahlukileyo ‘yokwazi malunga’ nokubhala ngokudlwengulwa. Le ndlela yahlukileyo yokwazi iqwalasela kabukhali ukwahlula uluntu nokungalingani okuhamba namava okudlwengulwa nokuphanda ngobundlobongela besondo eMzantsi Afrika. Ndibeka uluvo oluthi ukujongana nendlela udlwengulo oluchaphazela ngayo umntu okanye uluntu, ngumba odala ukungonwabi kakhulu. Ukwadala ithemba kwaye ubaluleke kakhulu ekuphazamiseni iingcinga ezenza ukuba ubundlobongela besondo bube yinto eqhelekileyo eMzantsi Afrika.

Ek neem, as uitgangspunt vir hierdie tesis, my eie ervaring van verkragting en hoe my sosiale posisionering as 'n 'wit', middelklas, vrou my ontuis maak by ‘n regerings-verkragtingskliniek, waar die oorgrote meerderheid pasiënte arm, 'swart' vroue is. Die ongemak wat veroorsaak is deur ‘ontuis' by die kliniek te voel, het gelei tot my ondersoek na die maniere waarop seksuele geweld in Suid-Afrika genormaliseer word en die verkragtings van sekere vroue as 'gewoon' beskou word. Ek plaas my werk in 'n konteks waarin seksuele geweld baie sigbaar is – waarvan feitlik elke dag in die media berig word. Ek argumenteer egter dat die sosiale en politiese Suid- Afrikaanse samelewing 'onaangeraak' is deur verkragting - met verkragting wat herhaaldelik afgemaak en ontken word as 'n ernstige sosiale en politieke saak. Die gebruik van 'n interdissiplinêre benadering, ingelig deur kritiese feministiese, dekoloniale- en Afrikagesentreerde perspektiewe, plaas hierdie onaangeraaktheid binne die historiese- en kontemporêre matrikse van gesag. Ek stel voor dat ‘n toestand van ongeraaktheid gevorm word deur oorkruisde ras-, geslag- en klasbegrippe van watter lewens 'saak maak'. Naas 'n outoetnografiese benadering, waardeur ek poog om my eie ervaring van verkragting krities te situeer en te ontleed, maak ek gebruik van in-diepte kwalitatiewe onderhoude met 16 ander vroue – beide 'swart' en 'wit' – van regoor Suid-Afrika. Ek stel 'n affektiewe analise voor van my deelnemers se narratiewe, met die fokus op hoe vroue se gevoelens oor hul ervarings van verkragting gestruktureer word deur die breër sosiale konteks van seksuele geweld. Deur te werk met begrippe van trauma, vernedering, woede en ontstellende hoopvolheid ondersoek ek hoe ek, en die vroue met wie ek onderhoude gevoer het, dominante affektiewe moontlikhede van verkragting beide reproduseer en bestry. Deur betrokke te raak by die maniere waarop ek geraak word deur navorsing oor verkragting te doen, stel ek 'n alternatiewe manier voor van 'weet van' en skryf oor verkragting. Hierdie alternatiewe manier van weet gee baie aandag aan die oorkruisde ongelykhede wat beide ervarings van en navorsing oor seksuele geweld in Suid- Afrika uitmaak. Ek voer aan dat om betrokke te raak by die manier waarop verkragting individueel en sosiaal affekteer, baie ongemaklik, potensieel hoopvol en noodsaaklik is om die normalisering van seksuele geweld in Suid-Afrika te ontwrig.