'Nothing but a number' : the experiences of young South African men in age-disparate relationships with older women

Abstract

The phenomenon of age-disparate relationships between younger men and older women is relatively under- researched and therefore open to misunderstanding. The common assumption is that the younger men enter these relationships with a view to benefiting in terms of money or material goods. This qualitative study explored the experiences of five young men from around Pretoria who are in relationships with older women to understand their motivations for entering into those relationships and their experiences in the relationships. The in-depth interviews were thematically analysed and themes that emerged indicated that, unlike what has previously been found among young women who are in relationships with older men (namely that the young women are often coerced and therefore do not have much power in their relationships), the young men entered the relationships willingly and rely on cultural norms that allow them to navigate and negotiate their roles in the relationships. It is therefore recommended that age-disparate relationships not be discouraged; instead, interventions should focus on assisting young people develop agentic power in such relationships.