Imithelela emihle nengemihle ngesithembu njengoba ikhonjiswa ngokombhalo wobuciko besiZulu

Abstract

This study is on the positive and negative effects of polygamy as depicted in isiZulu literature. This research focuses on the effect of polygamy in Zulu culture. The aim is to review the effect of being in a polygamous relationship that people are ignoring to talk or write about. Polygamy is shown as something that brings people together and respect is more emphasised while they ignore the inside feelings of a person especial the first wife, how does she feel about the situation. The primary objective of the study is the effect of polygamy in the life of people who are in it. The study will review the facts about the inside of a person when she is hurt by something or someone. Jealousy among the wives in a polygamy is there and comparison among one another is rife. This situation can cause harm in a person’s life when it’s not dealt with in a correct way. The study will suggest few options on how to deal with the situation and what to expect when you go into polygamy. The polygamy does not just affect only the elderly people but also the children are affected by this situation. They get affected in school, daily life as well as when they are old. Also people who are close to the polygamous family such as relatives. These people find themselves in a unique situation where they have to choose where they want to sleep during their visit. For example: the relative must choose from the many wives where they want to spend the night in this homestead. The study will also touch on the psychological issues that might occur and disturb their normal life. It will also show what causes these psychological issues. When you stay with someone who has marriage challenges such as polygamy that person is affected by stress, usually unfriendly and most cases just give a pretended smile though one can tell from a distance that there is no happiness in this homestead. For instance, the inequality of the wives and their power when they get married that on its own can cause psychological issues because when the husband is not in the homestead the first wife must give direction to other wives, some they don’t like that v The study will also talk on the change of time how it affects the people in polygamous relationships in terms of economy, clothes, life and living arrangement. For instance, people from long time wore animal skin and now people wear clothes. The man’s economy a long time was determined by livestock and garden while now it is determined by how many businesses the man owns. The life was easy long time ago, diseases were not so many as it is nowadays especially the sexually transmitted disease and HIV and AIDS in particular. The study will also touch on how polygamy is formed. Polygamy is formed because of some issues. In most cases when the first wife does not get children or she gets girls only. When the first wife dies and there will be nobody to look after her children. When the first wife is too old to take care of her husband. In some cases it is because the man saw certain talents like cleaning, cooking and general smartness that at home no one has those skills and sometimes it is just love and the beauty of a woman. The study will ask people who are in a polygamous relationship about the issues they are facing and how they deal with them. Some books which talk about polygamy will also be used for argument and those who support what the research has found. These people are as follows: elders of the homestead, relatives, people who are in a polygamous relationships and their children. The study will conclude by giving suggestions on what to expect when one decides to go into a polygamous relationship. It will also suggest on what to do when you are already in that situation and where to go and which people you can talk to in relation to the challenges faced by people in polygamy. The study will open eyes to those who want to practice polygamous relationship and to those who are already into it and what might occur when they are not careful enough to deal with the situation in a correct manner.

Lesi yisifundo esimayelana nemithelela emihle nengemihle ngesithembu njengoba ikhonjiswa ngokombhalo wobuciko besiZulu. Inhloso yalolu cwaningo ukuveza imiphumela yokuba sebudlelwaneni besithembu kanye nokuveza ukuthi uma uthula nento ungakhulumi ngayo kudala muphi umonakalo empilweni yomuntu kanye nakasondelene nabo. Isithembu kwasebebhalile ngaso basiveze njengesimo esiletha ukuthula, inhlonipho base bangaveza ngobuhlungu umuntu abuzwayo uma ezwa ukuthi indoda izothatha isithembu njengonkosikazi wokuqala nje. Into ebaluleke kakhulu ukuvezwa kwemiphumela yocwaningo. Ucwaningo luveza amaqiniso ngokuthi kwenzekani kumuntu uma ezwa ubuhlungu noma ezwisa ubuhlungu omunye umuntu bese engasho lutho athule nakho kube kumudla ngaphakathi. Isikhwele kanye nokuqhudelana kumakhosikazi into ekhona esithenjini kanti futhi lesi simo siyawenza umonakalo uma kungabhekwananga naso ngendlela efanele. Ucwaningo luveze nezisombululo ngalesi simo. Lobu budlelwane besithembu abuthinti nje kuphela labo abakuso kodwa nezingane nazo ziyathinteka kanye nabasondelene nabo. Izingane zigcina seziphazamiseka ngisho nasesikoleni nanoma sezikhulile uma sekumele zizimele emzini yazo noma ekuthatheni izinqumo eziphusile. Izihlobo uma zivakashile zizithola sezisesimeni esingathokozisi uma sekumele zikhethe ukuthi zizolala kwamabani. Ucwaningo luzoveza nokuphazamiseka kwesimomqondo kanye nokucindezeleka kwawo. Uma umqondo ucindezelekile uyadala izifo ezithile emzimbeni noma uyaphazamisa ukusebenza komqondo kanye nomzimba ngokujwayelekile. Abantu abashadile benalesi simo babonakala behamba nje ukuthi banezinkinga. Izinkomba ababonakala ngazo ilezi, ukuhlina, isimomqondo esicindezelekile, bahleze badiniwe futhi bahlala ngabodwana isikhathi esiningi uma benabantu bahleka inhlinini. Amanye amakhosikazi awakujabuleli ukulandela umthetho kaNdlunkulu uma ubaba wekhaya engekho bese becasuka . vii Ucwaningo lubuye lwaveza ukuthi uma isikhathi sishintsha kanjalo nempilo abantu abayiphilayo iyashintsha, ezomnotho kanye nendlela okwenziwa ngayo izinto ezinjengamasiko nemikhuba. Isibonelo, abantu kudala bebegqoka izikhumba, izidwaba zenkomo kuthi esikhathini samanje abantu sebegqoka izindwangu. Kudala umnotho wendoda bewubonakala ngemfuyo namasimu akanawo kuthi esikhathini samanje ubonakala ngamabhizinisi anawo. Impilo kudala ibilula manje isinzima ngoba kunezifo ezithathelanayo kanye nezocansi. Ucwaningo luyaveza ukuthi isithembu senzeka ngenxa yezizathu ezithile. Okuyizona ezivamile ukungabatholi abantwana kunkosikazi wokuqala, ukuthola amantombazane wodwa, ukuguga, ukungakwazi ukwenza okuthile indoda ekudingayo empilweni yayo noma uthando nje. Kwesinye isikhathi ukushona konkosikazi izingane zincane bese kuthathwa ozogada izingane noma uyalishaya ibhodwe, ubuhle kanye nokuhlanzeka. Ukuqinisekisa ukuthi ucwaningo luyimpumelelo kuvakashelwe abantu abasesithenjini kanye nalabo akasondelene nabo. Izincwadi ezikhuluma ngesithembu kanye nabanye abacwaningi asebebhalile ngesithembu basetshenzisiwe ukuveza okuthile ngesithembu. Abantu obabuziwe bami kanje: abadala bekhaya, omalokazana, abakhwenyana, izingane ezineminyaka engaphezulu kwe-18 kanye nezihlobo. Ucwaningo lube selusonga ngokuveza obala ukuthi uma unquma ukungena ebudlelwaneni besithembu uzobhekana nani futhi kumele ubhekane kanjani nezinye zezimo ezikhona. Izizukulwane angeke zisakhala ngokuthi aziyalwanga kodwa kobe ukuthi zizigwaze zona ngowazo umkhonto, isalakutshelwa sibona ngomopho. Luzosiza nalabo abakuso isithembu ukuthi babhekane kanjani nezinye zezimo esithenjini nokuthi esikhathini samanje angeke uyogana ngenxa yokuyothola izingane ezobuchwepheshe sekulula ukuzisebenzisa ukuxazulula isimo.