Adult friendship and the boundaries of marriage

Abstract

Four core themes characterised this study: (a) adult friendship, particularly across the gender line, (b) the association between friendship and psychological well-being, (c) the role of attachment in friendship processes, and (d) the influence of the boundaries of marriage on friendship. Twenty six individuals were included in the initial research and 19 subjects participated in the main study. Theoretical principles of social cognition, constructive alternativism and attachment guided the collection and interpretation of data, which was collated, interpreted and then presented in case-study format. Self-with-other representation played a major role in data interpretation. Investigation into the structure and processes of friendship revealed it to be a complex and fragile relationship, defined both idiosyncratically and existentially, as well as by specific distinguishing features, such as trust, loyalty and intimacy . Attachment orientation and positive friendship experiences were noted as being contributory to the sense of interpersonal intimacy associated with feelings of well-being. Positive association was registered between 'secure' attachment orientation and self-ratings of well-being and happiness. Opposite-sex friendship emerged as an exclusive relational type, both similar to, and different from, samesex friendship and romantic love relationships. Its ambiguous role is evidently compounded by the latent sexuality in heterosocial relationships. Respondents reported cases of opposite-sex friendships metamorphosing into romantic love relationships and, less frequently, vice versa. Manifest in attachment and relational mental models, marital boundaries can facilitate or inhibit friendship. On both direct- and meta-perspective levels, securely-attached respondents were relatively accepting of opposite-sex friendships within a marital context. Insecurely-attached subjects tended to construe them as threatening to the marital reality. Responses to this threat varied: avoidantly-attached individuals used ego-protective mechanisms such as denial and repression, whereas · the anxious-ambivalent attachment orientation seemed more closely associated with feelings of mistrust and jealousy, expressed through anger and anxiety. Personal boundary structure plays an incisive role ln adult friendship. Thick-boundaried personalities seemed particularly conscious of preserving marital identity. They were more territorial with regard to friendships within the marital context, and more conscious of social rules pertaining thereto.